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XCU: Extreme Close-Up

How was Sean Cunningham’s little-seen XCU, aka Extreme Close-Up, managed to slip through the cracks? News of this film had been circulating through the genre press for quite a while, and expectations were high that it would at last prove to be Cunningham’s return to form, the kind of effective, straight-ahead shocker that initially cemented his reputation as one of horror’s leading shockmeisters. Then while on vacation in Sun Valley, I was lucky enough to find myself at a benefit screening held by Cunningham himself to show off a newly re-edited and re-scored cut of the film. Although such tinkering is usually a sign of trouble, I was surprised to find that the final product defied any dire predictions. In an age when people actually tune in by the millions to watch shows like “The Surreal Life” without irony, XCU’s melding of the prototypical reality show conceit (seven teenage contestants, one house, one week) with a classic slasher film plot (who will survive, and what will be left of them?) feels even more eerily prescient than ever before. A nifty, often clever skewering of that errant cockroach known as “Reality TV,” XCU seems tailor-made for “The Real World” crowd, an audience that still confuses celebrity with notoriety, and fame with infamy.I didn’t know what to make of this film at first. It initially seems to be pandering the same exploitative elements it is rallying against. But if the let’s-kill-them-off-one-by-one setup is initially predictable, especially coming from Cunningham (best known, of course, for launching the slasher craze with Friday the 13th), at last we have a film that dares to take its high concept all the way through to its bloody end. The script by John Vorhaus and Tim Schlattmann is surprisingly sharp and biting, and doesn’t pull punches. Much of the fun of XCU is in the pleasurable uncertainty of never quite knowing who is or are the villains. Is it the producers, the contestants, or the audience itself? Are we ultimately to blame for today’s cult of narcissism when we are the ones who won’t turn the channel? XCU asks some tough, heady questions, but wraps it up in such a seemingly innocuous thriller-parody that it is more than just fun, but deliciously subversive.Shot on digital film, XCU isn’t always slick, and maybe even cheap. But it does have a you- are-there immediacy to its staged antics that is more authentic than the past three seasons of “Survivor” combined. It is nothing new to say that today’s wanna-be reality TV celebrities don’t so much act like themselves as mug for the camera. Which makes them prime fodder for satire. But here, a surprisingly strong cast delivers something important than just effective quasi-documentary, improv style performances: they refuse to condescend to stereotypes. Most impressive is Sarah Chalke, now enjoying a hit with TV’s “Scrubs.” I won’t spoil any of the film’s twists, but let’s just say she gives the story its heart and soul and a nice little reversal. And genre fans will also get a kick out of seeing C. Thomas Howell revel in an atypical role as a slimy producer, and an all grown up Danica (”The Wonder Years”) Kellar as an obsessive lesbian. Now, that’s inspired casting!Many critics have lamented that Cunningham has never truly staked a claim for himself in the genre pantheon alongside such contemporaries as Craven and Carpenter. Maybe XCU will change that. This may be the only film he has ever made where it actually seems like he cares about what happens to his characters. Blame him for Friday the 13th if you want, but in a strange way, XCU allows Cunningham to bring it full circle. Because the ultimate irony in XCU is that, if the teenagers of today’s Camp Crystal Lake were to find themselves on the wrong end of Jason’s machete, they wouldn’t flee in terror. Instead, they would try to push him out of the way to get more screen time. Because all that the teenagers in Friday the 13th had to do was to try to stay alive. In XCU, they have to do something far more difficult: they have to try to become celebrities.

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Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace is Another famous You Don’t Know About

Here’s another clueless celebrity wanna be from London named Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace. There is a possibility you know her from Big Brother, but that show is pretty bad so I doubt it. She’s seen here at some party for a book launch. Believe it or not this dumb dumb celebrity wrote a book. It doesn’t matter though just check out how sensual she looks in that blue dress and notice that killer nipple slip. Oh the things I would do to her. Check out everything we have at Celeb Taboo, you’ll have access to the best celebrity archive known to dude.

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The “Rescue Me” studs get shirtless

I saw these ’round the Internet, and so I thought I’d cap a bunch of the chaps of “Rescue Me” for their shirtless scenes last episode, since they had quite a lot.

Hell has Harbor Views

According to this very funny and very black comedy, that is indeed all that they do. With a cast containing more stars than Sagittarius, this mpeg seemed destined to succeed, and indeed it does.I see that sometimes people agonizes over the question “why is a video funny?” (or not funny). Well, I don’t know the answer either, but one thing that seems to contribute here, is that every one of the stellar cast members seems to be enjoying him or herself here. Steve Bisley in particular is the most animated I have ever seen him to be.Lisa McCune is indeed a very beautiful woman, and this is the first I have seen of her that allows that to come through. Coles commercials and policewoman’s uniforms have truly done nothing for her. Freya Stafford always looks great, but she seems to have been given (or chosen!) more opportunities to show herself off.The storyline is black, black, black. Our hero works in a very high powered law firm, beset by both internal and external problems. All of the clichs about lawyers come into play. He is buffeted by forces way outside his control, and tries to do the “right thing”. Often his choices are only between overwhelming evils. It is surely not a spoiler to say that ultimately he finds a truly creative way to succeed.The takes where he talks directly to the camera, a la Bruce Willis in “Moonlighting”, are very well done, and not overdone. And the opulent settings in downtown Sydney add much to the mood of the mpeg.The ending left little room for a sequel or a series. Nevertheless, I hope and pray that there will be one.If you are a lawyer, I suspect that you won’t find this too funny, and if you are forced to sit through this, you may well cringe the entire mpeg. If you are anyone else, I suspect that you, like me, will find this flick to be ROFL funny.

Boogeyman

Something I’ve noticed lately is that horror movies make for great previews. When I saw the trailer for BOOGEYMAN I was thinking, “This film is gonna rock!” WRONG! This is another terrible Hollywood scare flick that couldn’t scare a 12 year old. I jumped more at the preview than the clip. The worst part is the story is so heavy handed that it steals any fun out of this convoluted mess. Let’s remember what were making here, guys, it ain’t no Oscar contender. Too bad the clip wasn’t just a shade worse so it could enter that so-bad-it’s good realm. This one is just bad.There are a lot of great horror movies out there these days so skip this one!

Vanessa Hudgens Isn’t Wearing Any Pants

How fucking hot is this. It’s not every day you see a young beauty like Vanessa Hudgins out shopping not wearing any pants. It’s like she just got fucked all night by some mature stud and she took only his shirt to go out and get breakfast in the morning. Or maybe that’s just what I wish were the case? Check out those cute young legs though, I’d dive right in between them. Celeb Taboo is the only spot you’ll find this much celebrity action.

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